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Re: Securing teh Intarwebs (Ultimate Solution ;)
- To: or-talk@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
- Subject: Re: Securing teh Intarwebs (Ultimate Solution ;)
- From: Mike Perry <mikepery@xxxxxxxxxx>
- Date: Sat, 31 Mar 2007 23:18:34 -0600
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Thus spake light zoo (lightzook@xxxxxxxxx):
> > The result of this mad vision quest is a new and
> > improved Torbutton.
>
> Excellent work
>
> BTW, what do I have to eat to have a "mad vision
> quest" like yours? ;-)
Was going to wait 2 hours to answer this, but what the hell, it's
already tomorrow according to my Torbutton extension ;). Happy new
year!
The key to Illumination is not so much what you eat, it's more so what
you don't eat. First, you have to purge your diet of all processed
foods and chemical additives. This is the first step in freeing
yourself from the stranglehold of poor health inflicted upon the
masses by the Dark Illuminati in order to better subjugate them. Right
now I'm drinking a nice tall glass of unpastuerized, unhomoginzed
milk. Yum.
Once you purify the body it is time to purify the mind. This is
accomplished by staring Death in the face. Only by realizing that when
you die, your existance is no more than the set of desires you
manifest at the moment of death, are you able to achieve immortality.
Write your 5 core personal values on a sheet of paper right now! Do
not hesitate. Now burn this paper. This is the secret of the Dali Lama
and the key to immortality. Use it well.
Once the mind is clean, it is time to purify the spirit. Every week
for N weeks or until you get bored you must devote yourself fully to a
new diety. Yin, Yang, Yaweh, Allah, Gozer, Baphomet, Chaos, Chronos,
Eros, Erebus, Nyx, Bob, Xenu, Yoda, and Lord Sidius are all excellent
choices. Once you realize the power of devotion is not to pray to a
god, or beg them to help you, but instead to channel their Force
through you to affect change in the world, you unify with that diety,
and are thus enlightened in selfless pursuit of the one Unifying
Force: Change.
That's it. That's all you need to know. I hereby dub you Illuminated.
You shall now henceforth be known as Sir Renegade Buddhist Light Zoo.
Watch out, the inmates are running the asylum.
http://www.mozilla.org/keymaster/gatekeeper/there.is.only.xul
--
Mike Perry
Mad Computer Scientist
fscked.org evil labs