Re: [tor-talk] Decoding Jake Appelbaum

[Cecilia Tanaka <cecilia.tanaka@xxxxxxxxx>]

Cari, I was raped twice.  Different guys, different countries, several
years between an event and other.

I am a small cute girl, even acting like an old grumpy lady.  Both were
much bigger than me.  I have some sad scars.  One of them burned my body
with cigarretes.  I was a teenager.  My tattoos hide part of my scars.

The second rape was pretty disturbing because he was my friend and I was
sleeping.  This guy has his own scars and traums now.  I have lovely long
nails and I am not exactly a good person when defending my family and
friends.

Usually, I don't care so much about myself, but I was deeply in love with
the sweetest man in the world and, in that moment, I remember I just wanted
to live enough to tell him about my feelings.  So I did everything I could
to survive.

I am still alive.  I still love the sweetest man in the world, but now he
doesn't love me anymore.  It hurts much more than be raped, I swear.

Well, just told you part of my past, because I know very well what means
being a victim and feel despair.  I know, in a very intense and deep way,
what means to feel psychological and physical pain.  Believe me, I had
lovely experiences about harassment in different levels too.  I tried
suicide once, some months ago, because I just wanted to stop the pain.  I
just wanted to sleep again.

After these experiences, I didn't learn how to hate men or cigarretes.  I
learned why I need to hate lies.

Cecilia

PS:  -  Sorry, I crying a lot and my English probably is a shame, but if I
try to correct the mistakes, I am sure I won't send this message anymore.
On Jun 7, 2016 10:05 AM, "Cari Machet" <carimachet@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:

> all this shit talk on here is like why people dont come forward when raped
>
> there was a suspension after tor received info about harassment before
> (hint: that matters) and as i said the organization was not dealing with
> this in any concrete way as they are now setting up protocol
>
> On Tue, Jun 7, 2016 at 3:56 PM, Cari Machet <carimachet@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
> > not friendly cant read and doesnt know who andy greenberg is?
> >
> > On Tue, Jun 7, 2016 at 3:41 AM, Not Friendly <notfriendly@xxxxxxxxxx>
> > wrote:
> >
> >> It's really bad now that the media took notice. This whole thing started
> >> as a small memo on a mailing list. And now it blows into some big media
> >> story. Jacob never had a chance to explain before the media started
> writing
> >> as many articles as possible. The writers of this article didn't even
> >> attempt to contact Jacob himself but rather simply the site owners. If
> your
> >> going to present your self as a "reputable media outlet" then write
> about
> >> both sides of the story.
> >>
> >> --
> >> Not Friendly
> >>
> >> > On Jun 6, 2016, at 8:09 PM, ja.talk <ja.talk@xxxxxxxxxx> wrote:
> >> >
> >> >
> >>
> https://www.wired.com/2016/06/tor-developer-jacob-appelbaum-resigns-amid-sex-abuse-claims/
> >> >
> >> > Andy Greenberg
> >> >
> >> > Tor Developer Jacob Appelbaum Resigns Amid Sex Abuse Claims
> >> >
> >> > Jacob Appelbaum has courted controversy throughout his career as a
> >> privacy and transparency activist, picking fights with several of the
> >> worldâs most powerful government agencies over surveillance and state
> >> secrecy. Now heâs at the center of an entirely different sort of
> >> controversy: accused of rampant sexual and emotional abuse.
> >> >
> >> > On Saturday, the privacy-focused non-profit Tor Project where
> Appelbaum
> >> held a position as a developer and activist released a statement
> explaining
> >> that Appelbaum had resigned from his position with the group as a
> result of
> >> a series of âserious, public allegations of sexual mistreatmentâ made by
> >> unnamed victims against 33-year-old Appelbaum. An anonymous website
> >> collecting testimonials from those alleged victims published the same
> day,
> >> with five victims detailing claims that range from uninvited groping and
> >> kissing to rape.
> >> >
> >> > On Monday morning, Appelbaum responded to the accusations in a
> >> statement, calling them âa calculated and targeted attack [that] has
> been
> >> launched to spread vicious and spurious allegations against me.â He
> added,
> >> âI want to be clear: the accusations of criminal sexual misconduct
> against
> >> me are entirely false.â His publicist Claudia Tomassini responded to
> >> WIREDâs request for comment from Appelbaum to say that his âlegal team
> is
> >> working on an injunction against these monstrous and factually incorrect
> >> accusations.â
> >> >
> >> > WIRED couldnât independently verify the stories on the website created
> >> by Appelbaumâs accusers, who used pseudonyms, nor determine the creator
> of
> >> the site itself. But Andrea Shepard, a Berlin-based developer co-worker
> of
> >> Appelbaumâs at the Tor Project, says the site was created by a âlongtime
> >> member of the Tor communityâ whom she knows and trusts. Shepard also
> says
> >> sheâs spoken directly with one of Appelbaumâs alleged victims, who told
> >> Shepard in February of this year that Appelbaum had raped him or her.
> >> âSadlyâI think itâs the damn truth. Heâs a charismatic, socially
> dominant
> >> manipulator,â Shepard writes to WIRED. âI absolutely believe the
> accusers.â
> >> >
> >> > Shepard says that Torâs management had suspected Appelbaum of sexual
> >> misconduct for months. And the revelation of another alleged victim in
> >> recent weeks had accelerated calls to force his resignation from the
> >> organization, a push led by Torâs executive Director Shari Steele. The
> Tor
> >> Projectâs statement, written by Steele herself, echoed that timeline.
> >> âThese types of allegations were not entirely new to everybody at Tor;
> they
> >> were consistent with rumors some of us had been hearing for some time.
> That
> >> said, the most recent allegations are much more serious and concrete
> than
> >> anything we had heard previously,â Steele writes. âWe are deeply
> troubled
> >> by these accounts.â
> >> >
> >> > Hacker Elite
> >> >
> >> > For years, Appelbaum has held near-rockstar status within the hacker
> >> community. In 2010 he keynoted the HOPE hacker conference, outing
> himself
> >> as a collaborator with WikiLeaksâits only publicly known American
> >> stafferâjust as it was ramping up its record-breaking Pentagon and State
> >> Department leaks. (A Rolling Stone magazine profile a couple of months
> >> later called him âthe most dangerous man in cyberspace.â)
> >> >
> >> > Likely as a result of his WikiLeaks work, Google and his internet
> >> service provider Sonic.net received court orders demanding Appelbaumâs
> >> communications as part of a grand jury investigation in 2011. Appelbaum
> >> wasnât indicted, but has said that he was repeatedly harassed and
> detained
> >> at U.S. border crossings by agents of the Department of Homeland
> Securityâs
> >> Customs and Border Protection. To avoid run-ins with the American
> >> government, he moved to Berlin. As a hacker exile heâs continued to work
> >> for Tor and also contributed to the analysis and publication of NSA
> leaker
> >> Edward Snowdenâs classified documents, as well as other surveillance
> >> investigations in the German newspaper Der Spiegel.1
> >> >
> >> > But Shepard, who also lives in Berlin, says she could see a pattern of
> >> troubling behavior that led her to distance herself from Appelbaum. In
> >> 2013, she recalls, Appelbaum told Shepard in a bar in front of another
> >> colleague that he was going to have sex with her, using a misogynistic
> >> phrase. In late 2014, she says he aggressively snatched a phone out of
> her
> >> hands at a hacker conference. And in the spring of last year she says he
> >> was suspended from his position at Tor for two weeks without pay due to
> a
> >> harassment incident.
> >> >
> >> > A Familiar Pattern
> >> >
> >> > The scandalâs implications could go well beyond the Tor Project, which
> >> maintains the highly-regarded Tor anonymity software. It also highlights
> >> the broader hacker communityâs long-running problem with sexism and
> sexual
> >> harassment. The notion, as Torâs executive director Steele wrote, that
> >> rumors about Appelbaum werenât new but had been ignored, portrays a
> >> community that turns a blind eye to the inequality or even mistreatment
> of
> >> women. As University of Pennsylvaniaâs well-known computer security
> >> professor Matt Blaze wrote on Twitter, âour community (larger than Tor)
> >> failed badly here.â
> >> >
> >> > Torâs executive director Steele, meanwhile, urged in her note about
> >> Appelbaum that anyone who thinks they may be a victim of criminal
> behavior
> >> should talk to law enforcement. âGoing forward, we want the Tor
> community
> >> to be a place where all participants can feel safe and supported in
> their
> >> work,â she added. âWe are committed to doing better in the future.â
> >> >
> >> > 1Correction 6/6/2016 9:55am EST: An earlier version of the story said
> >> that Google and Sonic.net were subpoenaed for Appelbaumâs data in 2011,
> >> when in fact they received a 2703(d) court order.
> >> > --
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> >>
> >> --
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> >
> >
> >
> > --
> > Cari Machet
> > NYC 646-436-7795
> > carimachet@xxxxxxxxx
> > AIM carismachet
> > Syria +963-099 277 3243
> > Amman +962 077 636 9407
> > Berlin +49 152 11779219
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> > Twitter: @carimachet <https://twitter.com/carimachet>
> >
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>
>
> --
> Cari Machet
> NYC 646-436-7795
> carimachet@xxxxxxxxx
> AIM carismachet
> Syria +963-099 277 3243
> Amman +962 077 636 9407
> Berlin +49 152 11779219
> Reykjavik +354 894 8650
> Twitter: @carimachet <https://twitter.com/carimachet>
>
> 7035 690E 5E47 41D4 B0E5 B3D1 AF90 49D6 BE09 2187
>
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