Re: [tor-talk] Jacob Appelbaum allegedly intimidated victims into silence and anonymity

[Cecilia Tanaka <cecilia.tanaka@xxxxxxxxx>]

On Jun 9, 2016 8:17 PM, <tor_talk@xxxxxxxx> wrote:
the questioning by police is over you will feel relieved.

> Off Topic till end of mail
> @Cecilia Tanaka
> Sorry if my posts weren't excellent and you feel to post your story and
emotions. you are stronger than you think and your words are beautiful.
> there will be no contract to feel safe from operations like this.

Hi, tor_talk!  How are you doing?  :)

Sorry for writing in private, but I don't want to kill all the people in
the tor-talk list with my always too long and boring messages this time,
haha!!  ;D

Please, don't die of boredom or someone will say that I am a "killer
defending a rapist" and I prefer when they call me "sociopath", haha!!  ;D

Your posts always are excellent and I am thankful for all of them, my dear
tor_talk.  Please, never be afraid of being yourself.

All the times when I read your posts, I think  "Oh, I need to study German
again"!  I can say "Ich Liebe Dich", "TschÃÃ", "Apfelstrudel" and
"Milchreis" pretty well, but everybody thinks I am sneezing when I say
"Entschuldigung", haha!!  ;)

Even when speaking Portuguese, I have a kind of "cecilian" accent, a
bizarre mix between Japanese and Italian accents, haha!!  When I was
younger, for a considerable lapse of time, Italian was my second language.
My Japanese is a disaster, even being my parents' language, so I never
considered it as being my second language.  You can imagine how strange is
when I try to speak English or German, hahaha!!!  ;D

I tried some German several years ago and a little bit after falling in
love with "the sweetest man in the world", mentioned before in another
post.  He is a German engineer and saved my life several times in all
possible senses, my dear.

I am not strong as you think.  I never was.  I had almost no sleep in the
last days and I've spent my whole day crying because I am missing my lost
love.

The Brazilian version of "Valentine's Day" will be in the next Sunday,
June, 12, and I want to die all the minutes because I am seeing lots of
sweet hearts and love stuff in all the places and medias and my heart
breaks and breaks in an infinite pain, without never stopping...  It will
be my first Brazilian Valentine's Day without a sweet message of him and I
am sure that it will be the longest day of my life and I finally will die
of sadness...  :'(

Ah, sorry for spending so much of your time just explaining why I love
German language and my German engineer and why I am not a strong person at
all, haha!!  ;)

I don't know the reason, but all my German friends have lots of infinite
patience.  I really admire and envy it.  Don't tell anyone, but I think
that "oriental patience" is not true.  I have almost no patience with
anything, uh!  :P

Well, I am a kind of 'zombie' in the last months.  I am still alive, but
the best part of me definitely died when he stopped to love me.  :'(

And now I need to learn how to make decent home-made Sauerkraut alone,
uff...  Mine stinks.  Literally, stinks.  And I do love it in sandwiches,
uff...  Why does love always make me suffer so much?  snif!  :'(

> you wrote:
> ...you didn't scream of pleasure loudly enough for all the neighbourhood
knows
> that I am a good lover! ...
>
> next time give this kind of lover a favor and do screams on tape to play
whenever he visits you ;-) you can tune the volume up accordingly to your
neighborhood. at the end of the tape: the screams you heard doesn't
necessarily have a correlation to the skill or action of my partner. (it
doesn't even necessarily indicate that someone has finished.)

Hahaha!!!  I was just joking, haha!!  ;D

Two years ago, I had a bizarre couple of neighbours and she was pretty
younger than he, an old rich man.  So, all the times when they were having
any sexual relation, she always was screaming extremely loud  - because he
was almost deaf! -  that my neighbours' bizarre sounds became inspiration
for a crazy project of mine at hackerspace, with the help of some
engineers, haha!!  ;D

I was so terribly stressed with all those f*cking sounds  - f* sounds in
both senses, haha!! -  that, in a long stressing night, when I was
finishing a pretty hard work, and she screamed much louder than my music, I
had a kind of comical revenge...  :B

When she screamed "I am feeling so hot, I am burning, I am in fire!!!", I
screamed "Help, help!!!  Call the firefighters!!!  She is dying!!!".  All
the stressed  neighbourhood laughed a lot for a long time, and, two days
after it, the noisy couple moved to another place and I never used my
project, haha!!  ;)

> rape will be an empty word as terrorist is.

Empty words, stupid labels, lynching people without proofs...  Maybe dying
of sadness soon, in this Sunday, will be better than waiting more for the
future...  I always had hope and believed in a better world, but,
sometimes, I feel so much fear of being wrong and living just for seeing a
more miserable and sad world, my dear...  My heart is already broken.  My
death will be pure despair if I live just for seeing my dreams becoming an
even worse nightmare...  :'(

Well, I will pray for a better world and will try to do my part.  Let's
cross our fingers and have hope in a better future for all the people, my
dear!  :*

Warm hugs!  Have a good night and sweet dreams!  :*

Cecilia

PS:  -  I do need to study English.  All the times when I try to write
"whether", I don't know why, I write "weather"!  Instead, I am using "if"
as a crazy, haha!!  ;)
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