Re: [tor-talk] Food for thought

[Zenaan Harkness <zen@xxxxxxxxxxxx>]

On Thu, Jun 16, 2016 at 10:05:23PM -0000, foodforthought@xxxxxxxxxxx wrote:
> Things are never black and white, there are always two sides of a story
> and people are never only good or bad.
> 
> But was it really our first and foremost concern to find out the "truth"?
> Is the lesson to be learned, if you will, about who is to blame? About
> shaming the victims or shaming the alleged perpetrator? About whether or
> not the "accused" will be found "guilty"? Is an "evidence-based
> discussion" or "due process" really going to solve the greater issue here?
> 
> In a community that claims to strive for equality, accusations against one
> person raise much broader questions and issues, like:
> 
> -) How much leadership/charisma/hero-worshiping can be healthy for a
> community of self-empowered people?
> 
> -) What is not criminal can still be harmful, disrespectful, humiliating or
> violating consent, just as what is criminal can still be ethical or
> consensual. Innocent until found guilty misses the mark in this context.
> 
> -) If we were living in a community/society of fulfilled people, who feel
> accepted, approved of and loved by their peers, there would be no such
> thing as abuse or harassment. But we don't. (Yet?) How do we deal with
> this discrepancy in a constructive way?

Beautiful!

> -) If someone voices concerns about a certain individual, how do we open
> lines of communication before too many get harmed? How do we treat both
> parties involved respectfully?
> 
> -) Even when a person, from the bottom of their heart, talks about
> sex-positivism, respect for others, transparency and equality, it does not
> mean that they can live up to their own expectations. Their own disability
> to do so may make them even more enthusiastic talking about it.
> 
> -) We are all humans, we are fallible, we are flawed, we cause harm in
> others. The question is, do we create an environment where failure is
> recognized, do we surround ourselves with friends who will tell us we
> failed? Will they express concern, when self-reflection and self-criticism
> have failed us? Will people speak up even to the one person considered a
> role model? Or do we kick issues into the long grass and surround
> ourselves with yes-men?
> This ties in with the first question.

Great questions. Thanks for being so constructive!
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