[seul-edu] Re: Beta 3 Press Release -- Can we call it a rap?

["Astroboy" <astroboy@linuxfreemail.com>]

I like better the original text of this paragraph:

"Visitors to Schoolforge.net are invited to review our case study 
files from SEUL/edu (http://richtech.ca/seul/casedex.html), including 
successful free software deployments in schools from Pasco,
Washington to New York City, from Zacatecas, Mexico, to Aldgate, South
Australia. In addition to these technological successes..." (notice I 
added the URL)

Why it is better than "Visitors to Schoolforge.net will find links to 
SEUL/edu's successful case studies from around the world..."? I think 
because the PR is targeted to people who knows very little of 
technology and/or nothing about Linux or Open Source. Is like the 
original paragraph says between lines:

"This is a real, down to earth success. You see, there are already 
schools, concrete and material ones, who use Linux. You don't believe 
it? check the URL, see and write about the experiences of schools in 
Washington, New York, Zacatecas and Aldgate, for example... there are 
even more if you click on the URL"

The new redaction talks about a very vague and abstract notion about 
"schools around the world"... I think is better to direct some 
neophyte eyes to some notorious examples.... Besides, I like the force 
that gives the mention of 4 distant points in the world, as saying 
"This is an universal project, made by the effort of small schools, 
small points of light in the world" Oh, boy...


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