Re: [seul-edu] Draft Review

["Stephen C. Daukas" <stephen@daukas.com>]

At 11:36 PM 5/1/2002, you wrote:
>Hi:  I just put Leon's draft #2 up at:
>http://www.studioforrecording.org/mt/Pubdomain_Bread/index.html
>
>and, I just can't help thinking this reads just right, and should be


A few things jumped out at me when I read it:

1.  Get rid of the "$" is "M$".  It is fine to use among ourselves, but it 
is pejorative and the statement looses credibility from there on.

2.  The second paragraph had better be bullet proof!  Was this reviewed by 
someone who knows both US federal and various US State commerce laws?  If 
this is opinion, it must be clearly identified as such.  The jurisdiction 
to with the statement applies must also be identified.  Should this get 
wide circulation, be prepared to back it up...  We might do well to see if 
any States Attorneys have made any comments on this subject we can quote 
that will bolster our position.

3.  There should be a clear transition from the "we claim Microsoft is not 
on sound legal ground" to "what SEUL can do for you".  I had to read the 
"SEUL has dozens of case studies..." paragraph opener more than once to see 
if I skipped something.

4.  "Mr. Brooks" has to be identified:  Who is he, what is his connection 
to SEUL, what is his background that allows him to speak on such matters.

5.  Where is the official announcement?  This should be referenced so folks 
can find it.

By the way, where is the "official Announcement"?  I haven't seen it...

Regards,
Steve