Hm. That's not really true. An onion service should work regardless of where it's hosted and that's the whole point (to provide location-anonymity). If you had to use a different onion address based on where it's hosted, then better stick to good ol' regular TCP/IP load-balancing. "Latency problems, AS problems and circuit congestion" should not beinfluenced too much by where the onion service is hosted. After all, youhave a 6 hop circuit to the onion service regardless of where it's hosted, and that big circuit is probably the source of any issues.
My point is, even google, AWS or facebook have some routing/datacenter issues, from time to time (the most recent some days ago with google DNS routing). So, choose 3 different HS hosted in different AS/datacenters and test them in round-robin.
But as nusenu already pointed out, maybe a better idea is to just test the exit node.
@RobInteresting stuff, "KERNEL MAGIC" instead of LD_PRELOAD. Wish you success. Please keep us posted.
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